The Journey
by PinkAngel17
Summary: An ever growing collection of drabbles and occasional oneshots. With multiple pairings, various genres, and many character perspectives.
1. What Hurts

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Star Trek Voyager or any of the songs that could show up in this collection.

A/N: I'm not sure how many of these drabbles/oneshots there will be. I have a lot saved already and more will probably be added to those. Most of them will be written for the Fanfiction Drabble Challenge over on Facebook, but some may just be oneshots that pop into my head along the way. This first one leans towards J/C and is set around 'Resolutions' from Chakotay's POV.

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><p><strong>What hurts the most was being so close<strong>

**Having so much to say, watching you walk away**

**Never knowing what could have been**

**I'm not saying that loving you was what I was trying to do**

_- 'What Hurts the Most' by Jo O'Meara_

The worst part of the New Earth situation? It wasn't the fact that the captain wouldn't admit defeat while he, on the other hand, was trying to set up a new home as best he could. It wasn't even the fact that he'd been able to hold her close during the plasma storm only to have her take three steps back and put up a force field so she wouldn't have let go of her control. No, it was the moments before they finally left the peaceful place that had been slowly becoming a home.

In that brief instant he'd caught her eyes and saw, for the first time, the evidence that she might just miss what they'd shared over the last few weeks. He saw her fondness for the little garden she'd started, the affection she'd developed for that stubborn monkey, and the slight disappointment at knowing she'd have to go back to wearing a uniform.

But over all that, he also saw a glimmer of regret that he could swear was aimed at him. It was gone just as soon as it leaked through her barrier, but it _had_ been there. And he wondered...what would have happened if _Voyager_ had waited just another week to come back? Or what if Voyager hadn't come back at all?

That was the worse part. The not knowing, yet having a feeling in the pit of his stomach that they could have grown _much_ closer. Then they beamed back to Voyager...and she was once again Captain Janeway...

And he would never know what could have been.

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><p>AN: More coming up!


	2. Last Call

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own Star Trek Voyager or this song!

A/N: This drabble is a bit special. It was written for the Drabble Challenge, but I also wrote it to go along with Chapter 8 of my story 'Dismissed!'. You don't really have to read that to understand this one though.

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><p><strong>So if I get drunk and call you up<strong>

**Don't get pissed, and don't hang up**

**I know it's late but it's never too late to be**

**Another last call casualty**

_- 'Last Call Casualty' by Bowling For Soup_

"B'Elanna?" Tom frowned as he toyed with the comm badge on his uniform. He tried to sit up, but when the table above him began to swim in and out of focus he let his head fall back to the floor. "Ba...Lann...A..." He continued as if serenading her.

A loud groan came from the bar that was apparently a few feet away. "Shut..." Another groan. "Up, Paris."

Tom lifted his head again, a grin twisting his lips even as the room spun around him. "Oh lighten up, Harry. I'm just talking to B'Elanna."

"That's..." Harry paused and shook his head as his eyelids began to droop. "Not a comm badge."

Tom looked down and a bark of laughter only an access of alcohol could create irrupted from his diaphragm. Sure enough he was tapping the cork from their last bottle of Romulan Ale. "Hey Harry, do you think..."

A snore interrupted his line of thought and looking over he realized his slightly intoxicated friend was passed out at the bar, with Sandrine standing over him looking not too pleased. He laughed, at least until the room titled again, at which point he fell back against what he assumed was the floor...or maybe it was the ceiling?

He didn't hear B'Elanna's voice come over the comm link or understand when she asked how the bachelor party was going. The next even semi-coherent observation was when someone who looked suspiciously like Captain Janeway was leaning over him. But that couldn't be right. He hadn't programmed her into this program...did he?

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><p>AN: What'd you think?


	3. Alone In the Abyss

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything, but I'll let you know if I ever do.

A/N: This time a Janeway POV set during 'Night'.

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><p><strong>Life is getting harder day by day<strong>

**And I don't know what to do what to say**

**And my mind is growing weak with every step I take**

**It's uncontrollable now they think I'm fake yeah**

**Coz I'm not alone, no, no, no.**

_- 'Not Alone' by Danny Jones/McFly_

Janeway sat stiffly in her arm chair, looking out the viewport and into the pitch blackness outside. There were no stars, no planets or nebulas...just an inky blackness. The darkness had long since leaked onto the ship and made it's way into every aspect of her life.

The view of space outside Voyager was now a reflection of what she was like on the inside. No stars to shine through the inherit darkness of space...just like there was no longer any inner light to pierce through her own abyss. The rays of hope were diminishing with each passing day that she woke up to the silence of space. She was as empty as the cold space surrounding her ship.

While her soul withered away, any specks of light slowly being overpowered by the continuous bleakness, her mind continued to work. Too bad it wasn't working the way she wanted it to. The guilt, sorrow, desperation, and all the other kinds of disabling emotions she'd spent years burying where now coming to the surface. And, of course, her mind was latching onto them, forcing her to think of all the things she'd never allowed herself to dwell on.

It was an odd sensation really. While she grew more tired day by day, both physically and emotionally, her overactive mind kept replaying the worst moments of her life. And without any distractions the guilt was slowly eating away at her while one thing became drastically clear...she was alone. Completely and utterly alone in the darkness of a starless space.

Just as she stood to approach her viewport she heard the door chime ringing through the silent quarters. She barely registered when she called the person in, but the familiar presence now in the room didn't surprise her. And neither did his not-so-subtle attempts to draw her out of her quarters.

Normally she _might_ have relented when he gave her that concerned look, but this time it only made her angrier because she knew she didn't deserve his worry. No, it was better to just stay in her quarters, away from the crew, so she didn't cause them anymore unnecessary pain. She'd already caused them enough of that to last a lifetime.

"Dismissed." She finally ordered firmly and she didn't bother to turn and watch Chakotay leave.


	4. Always Be Your Friend

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own a thing...

A/N: A little post-Endgame drabble.

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><p><strong>We've seen the other side of life and not been too impressed<strong>

**It doesn't beat a day at home if you put it to the test**

**But at least we took the challenge we didn't just pretend**

**Never mind the strangers coz I'll always be your friend**

**Until the end**

_- 'Never Mind the Strangers' by The Saw Doctors_

B'Elanna watched her husband running around the yard with their four year old daughter chasing after him. Miral seemed to have as much energy as the warp core of a starship. Then again, Tom would run around with her for hours at a time as well. He never had fully grown up, even after seven years in the Delta Quadrant.

A lot of people had changed during that journey. Actually, _everyone_ had changed in one way or another, but they'd also managed to keep the things that made them who they were. For Tom, that was his playful nature. They'd seen things, experienced things, that no one had even dreamed of. It had been one big adventure that had lasted seven long years.

It'd be chaotic, dangerous, depressing at times...and she wouldn't change a thing. It had lead her to a family, a _real_ family, and given them all memories that they would have for the rest of their lives. They'd had thrills and chills that some cadets could only hope to experience in their careers, but it was over now. And she couldn't be happier.

"You'd think that those two would stay sitting for five consecutive minutes. If I didn't know better, I'd say Tom was sneaking her candy."

With a shared smirk B'Elanna accepted the mug of coffee that her former captain was passing over as the other woman sat on the porch bench next to her. "He's done it before."

Kathryn scoffed and watched the father and daughter playing in her front yard. "I know. I caught him giving her a Jumja stick last time."

"How was the press conference?" B'Elanna took a sip of her coffee to hide the teasing smile as Kathryn rolled her eyes.

"You would think that after four years they'd stop calling me at home just to ask to write my biography. Of course, I would think they'd stop calling me _period_ after Harry's reaction to the last article."

"They obviously aren't that intelligent."

"Obviously."

With that they both sat in silence, watching the playful chase going on in front of them with amused smiles. They didn't need to say anything else at that moment. After everything they'd been through, both as a crew and as a family, they understood the other without always needing spoken words. They both already knew everything that mattered...the Voyager family would always be there to carry each other through life.

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><p>AN: I'll have another couple chapters up later. Thanks for reading!


	5. Clare Island

Disclaimer: No, I do not own anything even remotely related to Star Trek Voyager. If I ever do, I'll let you know.

A/N: This oneshot is set after 'Endgame' and is definitely J/C. It was inspired by the Drabble Challenge lyrics, but turned into a oneshot instead of a drabble.

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><p><em><strong>Will you meet me on Clare Island<strong>_

_**Summer stars are in the sky**_

_**We'll get the ferry out from Roonagh**_

_**And wave all our cares goodbye **_

_- 'Clare Island' by The Saw Doctors_

Kathryn Janeway stood in her ready room, looking out the viewport and into the star speckled space around the planet rotating before her. It looked identical to the view she'd seen all those years ago when Q dangled the prospect of Earth in front of her. Only this time they really were in the Alpha Quadrant and she really was looking at Earth.

The initial procedures were almost over. Admiral Paris assured her it'd only be a couple more hours and then she and her crew could begin beaming down to the planet.

They were going home. So why wasn't she thrilled? Why wasn't she wearing a infectious grin like the rest of her crew?

Her crew...

She knew they would be alright. The first thing she'd done upon their return was have a little chat with the Board of Admirals and she had successfully arranged the crew's full pardon. Seven, Icheb, and the Doctor's fates had been the hardest, but thanks to Admiral Paris' backing they had a promising future as well.

The problem was she felt as if she were losing part of herself. Her crew was a family. _Her _family. And now there was the prospect that they'd be separated while the ship that'd become their home was taken away from her as well. Somehow, that just didn't sit right in the pit of her stomach.

She heard her ready room door swishing open and knew immediately who it was. "How was the interview?"

"The usual Starfleet politics. I got the impression they were more interested in if I was planning on staying in Starfleet."

Janeway turned around, studying her, soon to be former, First Officer with her best neutral expression. "And are you?"

Chakotay remained silent, watching her just as intensely as she was watching him. A few seconds ticked by before he took a slow step forward. "I'm not sure yet. I don't think right now is the best time to decide, so I figured I'd wait to make the final decision until after all this calms down a bit." Kathryn nodded and turned back around to the viewport, arms crossing over chest in the process. "What about you?"

What about her? That was a good question. What _was_ she going to do now? "A part of me wants to turn in my pips..." She began, vaguely aware of the fact Chakotay was slowly stepping closer to her with each word. "But I think we both know that's not going to happen."

"Probably not." Chaktoay chuckled, a gust of warm air breezing past her ear now that he was right behind her. "I can't imagine Kathryn Janeway sitting at home for that long. Though an extended vacation probably wouldn't hurt."

Kathryn smiled a bit at that, thinking of all the places both on Earth and off world that she'd love to visit again. Too bad she'd probably wind up doing it alone.

The hand on her shoulder didn't surprise her all that much, but the look in Chakotay's eyes as he turned her towards him managed to make her breath catch silently in her chest. "I wouldn't mind visiting Ireland. I seem to have developed a thing for redheads." He added, bringing his hand up to tuck a few strains of reddish-brown hair behind her ear.

"Ireland, huh?" She teased, a smile forming on her face for a second before it began to falter. She couldn't bring herself to believe, to hope, that he was offering to be with her. It had just been too long for them have a chance now.

She was slightly taken aback by the hand that was suddenly cupping her cheek. "The thing is, I promised this incredible woman that I'd always stand by her. No matter what or where we go. And I have no attention of stepping aside now. In fact, I'd rather stay lost in the Delta Quadrant than leave her side."

"This woman doesn't have a few mechanical implants does she?"

"No." Chakotay chuckled, his thumb running over her cheek. "She's all natural. But also more then I could ask for." He added with a completely serious look and beseeching eyes.

"No matter what..." She echoed in a whispered voice that was more for her than him.

"No matter what." Chakotay repeated firmly. "If she'll let me that is."

Kathryn met his eyes, their gaze staying locked even as he began to inch closer. The next thing she knew his lips where on hers in a tender gesture that sent tingles rolling through her body until she was sure sparks must be shooting out of her fingertips.

All too soon they were breaking apart, but she didn't step out of the arms he had firmly wrapped around her waist nor did she remove _her_ arms from around his neck. She wasn't even sure how her arms had gotten there, but at that very moment she didn't much care either.

"I think she'll allow it this time." Kathryn stated softly, her voice just barely wavering with the emotion she knew was showing. If it was anyone else she would have crushed those emotions down behind her impenetrable wall, but this was Chakotay. If she couldn't trust him with her emotion then how could she trust him with the heart that she'd just handed over on a silver platter.

Chakotay seemed to understand, seemed to realize how hard it was for her to let down those walls, and was obviously honored by the fact. The look in his eyes told her that he'd just accepted her heart with open arms and would cherish it forever.

And she truly believed he would. "There's a small island town in Ireland. I went there once when I was a child..." She began, a far away look entering her eyes as she remembered the beautiful beaches and rolling hills. "It would make an excellent place to get away for awhile."

"Sounds nice." He stated, a crooked grin spreading across his face as he let a hand drift a bit lower on her back.

She smiled up at him and nodded. "The briefings and celebrations should be over in a few weeks..."

"It's a date." He interjected with a hint of obvious excitement lacing his voice. She smiled wider at the term, a part of her not truly believing how much her life had turned around in such a short time, but still ready to except this new future anyways.

Chakotay pulled her close again, nuzzling his nose into her hair while still smiling from ear to ear. She hung on tightly in return, resting her head on his shoulder and letting her eyes drift closed for a moment. It was then that everything sank in, her tension and anxiety began to melt away, and she _knew_ everything would be alright.

The _Voyager_ crew would always be a family, nothing could change that, but they would grow and prosper in health and happiness just like they were supposed to. And her? Well, everything she needed was currently holding onto her as if she were his very soul.

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><p><strong><em>Two Months later...<em>**

Kathryn let her feet dangle over the edge of the cliff as she looked out over the beach that was just a mile or so away. The sun would be setting soon and then the stars would come out to greet her.

"That was B'Elanna." Her fiancé stated as he walked up and sat down behind her so his legs were spread out on either side of her and his chest pressed firmly to her back while his hands snaked around to rest on her abdomen. "They'll be here tomorrow afternoon."

Kathryn nodded with a soft smile and let her head fall back against his shoulder as she entwined one of her hands with his. Her entire _Voyager_ senior staff was coming to visit her and Chakotay's new Ireland vacation home that was situated on this small island.

The house wasn't too big, but it was cozy, complete with all the comforts of home, and had a large area of spacious land around it. However, the best part was its location. It overlooked the beach on one side and the mountainous inland on another. As an added benefit it was several miles away from the small town located on the island so they had plenty of privacy.

In other words, the perfect place to get away for awhile. Their other house was in San Francisco, just outside the major part of the city so they could both easily get to work and back. "Did she mention if she and Tom had decided on a permanent place yet?"

She could practically feel Chakotay's smile as he nuzzled her neck and placed warm kisses on her slightly chilled skin. "She did mention something about that as a matter of fact."

She quirked an eyebrow even while tilting her head to the side so he could have better access to her neck. "And...what exactly did she say?" She asked, not letting him distract her from her original question.

"You could just wait and ask her yourself when she gets here tomorrow." Chakotay pointed out with a mock serious tone.

"I'm not a very patient person, Chakotay." She stated evenly, forcing the smile off her face as he tightened his grip on her.

"Really?" He said, placing a particularly warm kiss just below her ear. "I never noticed." With that he added another kiss to her shoulder blade.

"Chakotay..." The warning was really only half-hearted as he moved his lips to her jaw.

She felt him chuckle against her skin before giving her one more kiss and then resting his cheek against the side of her head. "They've found a nice house that'll be perfect for all three of them with room to spare in case they decide to expand in number."

"Uh huh, and where _is_ this perfect house?" An inkling of suspicion began filling her gut as she waited for him to answer.

"San Francisco."

"San Francisco..." She repeated flatly, that inkling was now a full fledged red alert.

"Yep. Just outside of San Francisco actually...about a mile and a half away from our house. Probably within walking distance."

"Wonderful." She stated dryly, but with a glint of teasing in her tone. At this rate they all might as well just move in together. "You know, Tuvok and his wife are thinking of getting a second place in San Francisco. That way he could take that teaching position at the Academy."

"You mean the position you used your newly appointed admiralty to reserve for 'a more experienced instructor'?" Chakotay teased. "With the office that happens to be in the same building as mine? That would be very convenient for you. Just pop on over and see both of us at once instead of having to hunt us down separately and risk running into adoring fans."

Kathryn slapped his leg playfully even as a small smirk formed on her face. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course not, Admiral." He stated with a blatantly fake formal tone to which she rolled her eyes.

They sat and watched the sun go down, enjoying their peaceful embrace until the chilly air forced them to go inside. Together they walked back to the old fashioned Irish house, hands still entwined as they went home side by side.

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><p>AN: So what did you think of this one?


	6. Collide

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek Voyager and I definitely don't own the song either.

A/N: This is pre-Voyager. And, for the record, I usually just ignore the Voyager books, but this seemed to fit the lyrics. Janeway POV with a special guest appearance.

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><p><strong>Even the best fall down sometimes<strong>

**Even the stars refuse to shine**

**Out of the back you fall in time**

**I somehow find, you and I collide**

_- 'Collide' by Howie Day_

She felt...she wasn't actually sure what she felt. She was sore, her chest was tight, and she was tired, that was all easy enough to deduce. It was the odd sense of mental numbness that she wasn't sure how to describe. What she did know was that she didn't want to move, but she didn't want to be lying on this biobed in a Starfleet hospital either.

But she couldn't leave. Partially because she could barely walk and partially because she hadn't seen the admiral yet. For all she knew the admiral could be died. That was the one thing she _didn't_ feel numb or indifferent about. She just wanted to know he was still alive.

She shifted on the bed, turning onto her side and towards the door in an attempt to get more comfortable. When she heard voices just outside the room she closed her eyes, hoping that anyone who ventured in would just assume she was asleep, but she still continued listening to the voices.

"That's a private room, cadet."

"Yeah, I gathered that. But my father, the _admiral_, sent me to check up on...whoever's in there."

"You don't even know her name, do you?"

"No..." The younger voice drawled. "Look, I just need to take a quick peek into the room to see that the ensign's breathing so I can tell my father who will then hopefully stop harassing the hospital staff."

There was a drawn out pause before the nurse sighed in obvious relent. "Fine. But make it quick. The poor girl doesn't need anyone bothering her."

Kathryn kept her eyes closed as the door swished open. She heard someone taking a deep breath, probably to hold off the nausea her battered appearance caused. In the next second the door swished open and closed again. But it wasn't for the last time.

A few minutes later she heard the door open and then footsteps approaching her bed. She sensed a presence standing not far from her and couldn't help but tense at the proximity. Fortunately he only stayed a moment longer before retracing his steps towards the door.

When she finally opened her eyes it was just in time to see a young man with sandy blonde hair walking out of the room. Her eyes were then drawn to the bed tray and when she caught sight of the half dozen sunflowers that were now sitting there she found herself smiling for the first time since escaping the Cardassians with Admiral Paris.

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading! More to come soon!


	7. Thinking of You

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A/N: This one came close to going over the drabble limit, but it does still fit. A little something from Gretchen Janeway's POV.

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><p><strong>And if I stop ever thinking of you<strong>

**I'd probably choke on the words I never said**

**If I stop ever thinking of you**

**I'd bury my heart and fall back in my bed**

**What a sight that'll be yeah**

_- 'The Minute I Met You' by New Found Glory_

She could see a lot of Phoebe in her granddaughter, which made since considering Phoebe was Caitlin's mother, but many times she'd glance at the little girl and see someone else. Someone who so many years ago would jump around the house wearing her father's uniform jacket, tripping a few times because of the oversized dress up clothes, but always picking herself up afterwards and going on like nothing happened.

She really shouldn't be surprised at the physical resemblance between her granddaughter and her oldest daughter. Kathryn and Phoebe had always had a striking resemblance to one other as children and right until they were teenagers, so it wasn't that unreasonable that Caitlin would remind her of Kathryn.

But she would have thought that after six and a half years she wouldn't watch Caitlin wistfully with the occasional moistness in her eyes as the child played. She had hoped that with time she would stop seeing her baby around every corner, those deep blue eyes smiling back at her, or randomly find her mind wondering to the daughter she hadn't seen in far too long.

Who was she kidding...of course she thought about Kathryn constantly. She missed her daughter with every fiber of her being, every motherly instinct she had screamed at her to go and bring her child home, and no matter how much time passed the hole in her heart- the one right next to the gapping wound Edward had left- just wouldn't be filled.

And she'd never try to fill it either, just like she'd never try to stop thinking of Kathryn. She loved her daughter too much to simply forget her. It physically hurt to think of Kathryn and all the things she never told her, but that pain wasn't enough to make her move on or even consider giving up on the daughter that was lost from home. Besides, what would Kathryn say if she did come home, only to find her mother a despondent mess of grief who'd given up so easily?

"Gram-gram?"

The casual little voice of her granddaughter snapped her back to the present. "Yes, munchkin?" She didn't really need to ask what the child wanted, not when she saw the photo album the girl was clutching to her chest.

"Will you tell me another story about Aunty Kathryn?"

She smiled warmly at the small child as Caitlin looked hopefully up at her. "Of course, baby." Gretchen smiled proudly to herself as she pointed out pictures of her oldest daughter and told the stories behind them. It was just another way for her to make sure the memory of Kathryn was kept alive.

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><p>AN: So what did you think?


	8. How You Make Me Feel

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own anything...

A/N: This one is set during 'Disease' and is from Harry's POV.

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><p><strong>I don't wanna hurt nobody<strong>

**But my heart just can't hold back**

**It's the way you make me feel**

**Spinning my world around**

**Tell me how can I walk away**

**I don't care what they say**

**I'm loving you anyway**

_- 'It's The Way You Make Me Feel' by Steps_

Maybe Seven was right. Maybe love really was just a disease that humans contracted. But that didn't change how he felt, what he _knew _was right. The feelings he got when he was around her; the tingles, the warmth, the way his heart constricted painfully in chest...they couldn't be _wrong_. It was love. And he didn't regret it.

A part, a very small part, of him wanted to listen to the captain and everyone else who was telling him to let it go, but the majority of him-and the most important parts-said that what he and Derran Tal had couldn't just be dropped or ignored. It was too deep and too intense to just let go. It was as if his very soul was clinging to her.

He didn't want to disobey Captain Janeway or Derran's own people, but he wouldn't just let her slip through his fingers. He couldn't make himself stop loving Derran and he wouldn't want to either. No matter how much it hurt he wouldn't trade that feeling of love for anything.

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><p>AN: That's it for today I think. More will be coming up soon though!


	9. Hold On

Disclaimer: I think we all know by now that I don't actually own anything...

A/N: A little something for Naomi...

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><p><strong>Hold on but don't hold too tight<strong>

**Let go, you're gonna be alright**

**Don't run away from **

**What your heart is saying**

_- 'Hold On' by B*Witched_

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><p><em>'It was going to be okay. It was going to be okay<em>.'

Naomi kept trying to tell herself that, but it was hard. How did Captain Janeway do this all the time? Oh, because the Captain was special like that. She could do _anything_. The Captain wouldn't have a problem with this. She'd face it without flinching or being afraid at all.

But she wasn't Captain Janeway...not yet anyway. One day she'd be as strong, and smart, and amazing as the Captain. She'd start as the 'Captain's Assistant', of course. Then move up through the ranks, learning new things and meeting new people along the way, and then she'd have her own Starship. Her mommy, and Neelix, and Captain Janeway would be so proud of her!

But first she'd have to study. The more she knew, the more helpful she'd be. These mathematic things were so hard though!

Naomi sighed and propped her head up on her fist while reading through the complex math equations on the PADD. "You have been preoccupied with those reading materials for over two hours, Miss Wildman. However, you were _supposed_ to be consuming nutritional substances."

Naomi's head shot up at the sound of Seven's voice. She hadn't even noticed that Seven had come into the messhall! She could be really sneaky when she wanted to be.

"I'm studying."

"So I see. However, the Captain would not want her assistant's health to deteriorate due to exhaustion. You must learn to pace yourself."

"But Seven..."

"Would you like to play a game of Kadis-kot?"

Naomi felt a big smile spreading across her face as she stared up at Seven. "You aren't too busy?"

"Not at the moment."

When Seven stepped back Naomi jumped up, grabbing her stack of PADDs, and followed Seven out of the messhall. She _would _be Captain's Assistant one day, she wouldn't run around from the scary math problems, but for right now she'd play a game with Seven. After all, someone had to entertain Seven.


	10. My Ship Is Coming In

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own anything even remotely related to Star Trek Voyager or the song!

A/N: Last one for today I think. This time a Kes POV.

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><p><strong>Any minute now my ship is coming in<strong>

**I'll keep checking the horizon**

**And I'll stand on the bow**

**Feel the waves come crashing**

_- 'Waiting for My Real Life To Begin' by Colin Hay_

Kes brought her knees up to her chest, carefully avoiding the scrapes and bruises covering her ankles and knees. She kept hoping her rescue would come along and take her away from all this.

Day after day, lonely night after lonely night, she kept looking to the sky for any sign that Neelix was coming back. She knew he would return for her. He had promised he'd get her away from these Kazons, take her off this planet, and show her all the wonderful things that were waiting for her to discover just beyond her reach.

It wouldn't be long now.

Soon she'd leave this world and start a new life. She would experience things that none of her people had experienced in decades. Like the feel of rain on her skin, the sun of other worlds shinning down on her, new people to share stories with...

"Hello my friends..."

She knew that voice! It was Neelix! She jumped up, momentarily forgetting her battered body, and hesitantly sneaked over to the crumbling wall. She couldn't help the smile that began to form on her face as she watched Neelix barter with her Kazon captors.

She also noticed Neelix's friends...they were...different. Unlike anything she'd seen before, but she somehow _knew _they'd help her, that these new people were good. She could feel it.

And when Neelix grabbed her, bringing her closer to these strangers, and held her as they somehow left the planet and materialized inside a ship...she knew she'd found her new home. And her new family.

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading! More to come soon!


	11. Cramped

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Star Trek Voyager. I just play around with the characters occasionally.

A/N: This one was not for the Drabble Challenge, it was just something my sleep deprived mind came up with one night and I figured I'd post it here since it is a drabble. It's purely humor and nothing else.

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><p>"Ouch! Whose knee is that?"<p>

"Um, I think it's mine..."

"Whichever one of you pa'taQ's has their hand on my...oomph! Tom!"

"Isn't wasn't me! I don't think..."

"Commander, I would appreciate it if you'd remove your foot from my chin."

"Sorry, Tuvok. I'll try to.." Grunt. "Shift..."

"No, no, no! Shift somewhere else, Chakotay! That's my arm you're laying on!"

"Well move your damn arm then, Paris!"

"Easy for you to say, you don't have Harry's elbow imbedded in your spine."

"Neelix, that is _not_ my arm..."

"Oh my, so very sorry, Captain!"

"Tuvok, your boot stinks!

"My apologies, Ensign. I was not expecting anyone to be 'sniffing' my boot today."

"I wouldn't be sniffing it if it wasn't shoved up my nose!"

"Mr. Paris, keep your hands to yourself!"

"It _wasn't_ me, Captain!"

"Well then whose hand is...Chakotay?"

"Sorry, Kathryn..."

Scoff. "No you're not..."

"Shut up, Torres, or I'll ask the Captain to throw you in the brig."

"All of you be quite! There has to be some way out of this..."

At that point the door then slid open, allowing light to stream into the turbo lift and illuminate the seven occupants attempting to detangle themselves. They each stopped immediately and stared up at Seven of Nine as the former borg studied them with a raised eyebrow. "Am I interrupting?"

"What took you so long!"

"The turbo lift was malfunctioning, Lt." Seven answered, getting a few muttered curses from the half-Klingon as the senior staff carefully retrieved their personal appendages and began spilling out of the turbo lift.

"Yeah, I think we figured that out."

"How many levels did we fall from?"

"Twelve decks, Captain. However, I believe the malfunction has now been corrected."

"Very good, Seven. Thank you. I think I'll take the jefferies tubes back up though. Stretch my legs a bit."

"I think I'll go with you, Captain."

With that the Captain massaged her back and began walking towards the nearest jefferies tube hatch, her first officer jogging after her, while the others were left to rub their sore limbs before eventually following their commanding officers' leads, all the while muttering about cramped turbo lifts.


	12. No Surrender

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything...

A/N: Set after 'Endgame'. Definitely J/C.

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><p><strong>I will go down with this ship<strong>

**And I won't put my hands up and surrender**

**There will be no white flag above my door**

**I'm in love and always will be**

_- 'White Flag' by Dido_

Seven years. She spent seven years on a journey that had come to mean so much. She'd met people she never thought possible, made discoveries she could only dream of, gained a family that had stood by her side all these years...and had spent seven years fighting tooth and nail to get home. Every week was a fight for survival, every new alien they met was a danger to her mission, and every bump in their journey took away another ounce of hope.

They never gave up though. Kazon, Hirogen, Borg, Species 8472, impersonators and pirates...nothing stopped the crew of Voyager. She simply wouldn't allow it. Along the way she had developed a bond with her crew, and even her ship, that couldn't be severed. Not even now when that crew was filling off Voyager to start a new life back in the Alpha Quadrant.

And yet, there was still one aspect of her mission that was left unfinished. And it was possibly the hardest obstacle yet. She had lived through so much over the last seven years, stared death and fear in the eyes and somehow managed to never back down, had made it through the worst of times with her crew right there with her...but yet this was something that made her hesitant.

She didn't like it one bit. Which was one of the many reasons she had postponed dealing with it and even moved past it. Until now at least. This was a now or never moment and she knew it. There was only one thing to do. She wouldn't back down, in fact she wouldn't even leave the ship until she completed this last mission which may very well determine how her journey would end.

So with a determined expression she stepped over to the corner where her First Officer had been watching her for the past five minutes. As soon as their eyes met that special form of silent communication began and within seconds a grin was spreading over his face, his eyes filling with more adoration than she thought possible from one person.

Very few words were spoken, they both knew that now wasn't the time for loud declarations and confessions, but that was just fine with her. The unique thing about their relationship was that words weren't needed. They simply understood.

And when their hands drifted together, their eyes staying locked for another moment, she knew he got the message she was trying to convey. Seven years ago they had both started out on a journey and now they were about to start a new one...together.


	13. Taken For Granted

Disclaimer: If I owened it I wouldn't need a disclaimer...

A/N: This one is pre-Voyager and from Tom's POV.

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><p><strong>If my heart is made out of gold<strong>

**Then why does it feel like I'm here all alone**

**You take me for granted**

**You take me for reasons known only by you**

_- 'Reasons' by New Found Glory_

Tom forcibly shoved a couple shirts into his duffle bag while muttering angry comments about his so called father. Owen Paris was infuriating sometimes, but most of the time he wouldn't actually have anything to be angry at his father about because the man was never around to be angry at. Which was just as bad, if not worse, in it's own way.

Like today, for instance. He was supposed to be leaving for the Academy in less than a hour. Everyone said it was a big day for him. His mother had even been baking cookies all day, though he suspected it was more so she wouldn't have to think about the fact he was really leaving. His father, on the other hand, was no where to be seen. Even after promising to be there to see him off, the admiral had left late last night and had only called a few minutes ago to inform them that he wouldn't make it.

He shouldn't have been surprised.

This was what always happened whenever an important date came around. The admiral would find something to make sure he wouldn't have to be there. Either a last minute meeting or an off world mission that was demanding his attention. It was always the same with him.

And did he seem to care? Nope, of course not. The job was much more important than his own family, after all. And who was Tom to ask him to leave work behind for a little while? No one important apparently, just the admiral's son.

As he flung the duffle bag over his shoulder and stepped out of his room he considered, if only briefly, to stay a bit longer and see if his father deemed fit to grace them with his presence. The thought only last a second though, mostly because he already knew that the admiral wouldn't be coming home today, no matter what he promised.

So with one last glance towards the kitchen where his mother was still baking away, he tightened his grip on his bag and snuck out of the house before anyone would notice he was leaving. Maybe in a few years when he graduated his father would start to take notice and realize that he did in fact have a son. But at the moment, he just needed to get out of that house.


	14. Understanding

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything...

A/N: A Kes POV set during 'Tuvix'.

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><p><strong>Like a bad star I'm falling <strong>

**Faster down to Earth**

**She's the only one who knows**

**What it is to burn**

_- 'What It Is To Burn' by Finch_

Kes paced back and forth in her quarters. She needed to talk, to get the stress and worry and doubt off her shoulders. But who could she go to? Neelix, her sweet Neelix, wasn't here now. Well, he _was_, but yet he wasn't. She could see sparks of him in Tuvix, but that was it. Tuvix wasn't Neelix and he wasn't Tuvok either.

She stopped suddenly as a thought occurred to her. There was one other person on this ship who would understand her current pain over the situation. One other person who was probably experiencing the same level of emotional controversy and moral doubting that was weighing her down.

With a deep breath Kes walked out of her quarters and made her way to Captain Janeway's quarters. She barely noticed how late it was, all she knew was that she needed a shoulder to lean on and at that very moment the Captain was the only person who could carry the weight.

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading! As always, more to come soon.


	15. When We Meet

Disclaimer: We all know this, but I don't own Star Trek Voyager or the song.

A/N: Thank you all for reading, adding to alerts and favorites, and for the really great reviews!

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><p><strong>And when we meet which I'm sure we will<strong>

**All that was there will be there still**

**I'll let pass and hold my tongue **

**And you will think that I've moved on**

_- 'White Flag' by Dido_

Mark kept one arm wrapped around his wife's waist as they waited by the public transporter station. It'd been seven years since he'd seen his ex-fiancé. Almost four years since sending her the message explaining how he'd moved on. He had hated having to tell her in such an impersonal way, but he would have hated himself more if he'd let her keep thinking that there was still a 'them'. She deserved to be able to move on, to live her life as much as possible under the circumstances, just like he'd done.

He'd been surprised upon receiving her message just a few days ago in which she accepted his offer to have lunch with him and his wife. He honestly wasn't expecting her to agree. After all, what woman would want to have a casual lunch with the man who'd not only sent her a 'Dear John' letter, but also replaced her with another woman and even had a child with that woman. He probably shouldn't have been so shocked though. Surprising him had always been something Kathryn liked to do.

And he really wasn't sure why he was so nervous. He'd moved on, he loved his wife with every fiber of his being, and he cherished his son over everything else. His life was good and he couldn't ask for more. But yet, a small part of him, wondered what it would have been like if Kathryn hadn't gotten stranded so far from home and thought lost forever. What would his life had been like then?

He also couldn't forget the guilt he still felt. He knew Kathryn probably didn't blame him and had probably forgiven him long ago. It was just something Kathryn would do, but that didn't stop him from berating himself for the hurt he most likely caused her. Especially since she had been so far away and unable to even see him face-to-face when he'd delivered the news.

He didn't regret his choices, not after receiving the family he'd always wanted, but yet his stomach still churned at the thought of seeing her again after so long. He wouldn't show it though, not only for his wife, but for Kathryn. Somehow, he knew she needed to see that he really was okay.

When the transporter finally came to life again he recognized the back of her head almost immediately. Her hair was shorter, but he could still recognize the slim form and commanding posture. And when she turned, those deep blue eyes instantly finding him, he knew she wasn't the same person he'd once known though. He hadn't thought it possible, but she seems...stronger. She's the same person, but with a few slight differences that almost leave him speechless.

He overcomes it quickly though, a warm smile spreading across his face as she steps towards them. And when she smiles in return he feels his nerves disappearing. There's no hatred, no remorse, and no condemnation in her expressions. He shouldn't have expected anything less from Kathryn Janeway.


	16. When It Rains

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything...

A/N: Set during 'Equinox' from Captain Ransom's POV. As always, more to come soon!

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><p><strong>You made yourself look better <strong>

**At the bottom of the blackest hole**

**Convinced yourself that it's not**

**The reason you don't see the sun any more**

_- 'When It Rains' by Paramore_

It wasn't his fault. He did what he had to do to keep his crew safe. It was all for their survival. Any half decent starship captain would do the same thing for their crew under the circumstances. Like that old Kobayashi Maru test...there was no right answer, so he took the only option he could find.

But maybe he'd been wrong. It was a thought that had nibbled at the back of his conscience since the experiments first began, but he'd always been able to take one look at his depressed crew and the feeling would fade away.

This time it wasn't fading away though. Now he had Captain Kathryn Janeway to look at. She had stood strong through obstacles, through temptations, and had managed to bring her crew through just as desperate situations. She hadn't lost her morals or broken directives. Bent them a bit maybe, roughed them up possibly, but not lost completely. She certainly hadn't lowered herself to the level of murderer and scum.

No, Captain Janeway had lead her crew through whatever the Delta Quadrant threw at her and come away with her strength and will power still firmly in place. That voice of right and wrong in her head may have softened a notch or two, but it was still steadfastly ingrained into her psyche.

Janeway's soul wasn't stained, but his was. And worse of all...he'd dragged his crew along with him. The very people he was supposed to shield and he had forced them into a situation that they had no choice but to go along with, because they were a loyal crew. Maybe too loyal for their own good.

That's why he wouldn't change his mind on what he was about to do. He had to protect his crew, had to pay for his transgressions, and had to start living up to the honor his uniform represented. It'd been awhile, but that voice in his head was finally coming through loud and clear. He had Captain Janeway and her crew to think for that. So now he would make the ultimate sacrifice and in doing so maybe he could actually go down with just an ounce of dignity.


	17. Perfect

Disclaimer: I don't own it!

A/N: A B'Elanna POV this time.

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><p><strong>You touched my heart, you touched my soul<strong>

**You changed my life and all my goals**

**If love is blind then that I knew when**

**My heart was blinded by you**

-_ 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt_

She looked at the holographic image in front of her, studying the lines and contours of the representations of what her daughter might look like one day. As she gazed at the young child her hand instinctively migrated to her abdomen, gently soothing the unborn infant inside.

Looking at the beautiful little girl who was the perfect mixture of herself and Tom, B'Elanna couldn't believe she'd ever considered changing a single thing about that culmination of traits. This baby would be a physical representation of love. And, now that she'd finally come to her senses, she wouldn't want to change a thing.

The ridges across their daughters forehead wouldn't make her an outcast and it wouldn't make her any less perfect. If anything, it would make the precious child just that much more special and that much more beautiful in her eyes.

The baby would have nothing to be ashamed or scared of. Her daughter would be just fine. She and Tom would make sure of that. They'd do anything and give whatever was needed to make sure their child prospered and had a life full of happiness and love.

She would make sure of it. Because the baby she and Tom had created couldn't be anymore perfect.


	18. It's Okay

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything...

A/N: Last one for today. This one, which isn't actually a drabble, has established J/C as well as P/T and is set (very) post-Endgame.

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><p><strong>It's OK I can promise you<strong>

**It's alright you ain't keeping me up all night no more**

**You're not here but it's OK I assure you babe**

**It's alright you ain't keeping me up all night no more**

**You're not here but it's OK**

_- 'It's Ok' by Atomic Kitten_

Kathryn Janeway had become an expert at making a forced smile look natural. In fact she was so good at faking facial expression that Tom and Harry hated playing card games with her now. So, even though she didn't feel like smiling at all, the happy grin on her face didn't show that reluctance. "Alyssa, go. The two of you are going to be late."

"Are you sure..."

"You heard your mother." B'Elanna interjected for her, the half-Klingon was tense, but over the years she too had learned the fine art of pretending to act casual...at least when it came to the children.

Kathryn almost laughed bitterly at that, the 'children' were starting to loose that title and each week they seemed to be getting closer and closer to adulthood. Today was a perfect example of that.

Alyssa, her and Chakotay's daughter, along with Miral, the oldest of the Paris children and one of her unofficial adopted daughters, would be leaving for the Academy in less than a week. She knew it was a bit selfish, but she wanted so much to keep them both close to her right up until they were forced away. Maybe it was a control tactic or maybe she was just getting even more sentimental the older she grew, but either way the thought of her daughter not being just down the hall sent a feeling of impeding dread through her.

As she and B'Elanna ushered the two girls out of the house she saw flashes of memories walking out the door. She remembered early morning feedings, late night crying, skinned knees and bouncing ponytails, hide and go seek in her office, and she saw two little girls who'd grown up like sisters grinning up at their fathers...who would then give them anything they wanted.

They were only going to visit friends before their first semester at the Academy. It wasn't a death sentence and it wasn't like she wouldn't see them tomorrow evening when they got back. So then why did it hurt so much to see them walk out that door?

With a tired sigh she let the door close and turned just in time to see one of her closest friends staring sadly at said door. The pretense of being happy and understanding quickly fell away and was replaced by the same sullen look as B'Elanna wore. "Coffee?" She asked when the other woman glanced in her direction.

With a bittersweet smirk and an understanding glimmer in her eyes B'Elanna turned so they could both start walking back down the hallway. "Do you have any of that Vulcan brandy left?" Before Kathryn could answer in the affirmative the door behind them suddenly opened, causing them both to stop and watch as their husbands rushed into the house.

Tom was practically panting, as if having just run all the way here from the transport station. "They haven't left yet have they?"

She nodded, giving him a half-smile before glancing at Chakotay. Her husband seemed to deflate, his eyes growing just a bit sad, but he still gave her a tender smile when he caught her watching him. Tom, on the other hand, didn't seem to accept the news so quickly.

He stared at them for a moment, as if not believing them, before quickly turning back towards the door to run after the two girls. B'Elanna caught his arm before he could actually get to the door though. "They'll be back tomorrow." She reminded him, catching his eyes and silently conveying a message.

"But they may decide to..."

"They'll be back tomorrow, Tom." Kathryn reiterated forcibly, giving him a pointed look, and with a final glance between his wife and his former captain he gave in and nodded. Together the four friends moved into the living room to share memories and a bottle of Vulcan brandy.

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><p>AN: So what did you think?


	19. Don't Stop

Disclaimer: I promise I don't own it!

A/N: Another Janeway POV, this time a post-Endgame.

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><p><strong>Don't stop, never give up<strong>

**Hold your head high and reach the top**

**Let the world see what you have got**

**Bring it all back to you**

-_ 'Bring It All Back' by SClub7_

Did she ever think she'd be an admiral? Maybe. She hadn't given in that much thought, at least not until the day Admiral Janeway from another future showed up. But even then, and the few years since, she hadn't dwelled on the fact of what 'rank' she'd been. Only that there was a way to get home.

Before she'd gotten command of Voyager the idea of admiralty had felt distant, it hadn't mattered much to her. Then while they were in the Delta Quadrant it hadn't mattered at all, she'd had much more important things to occupy her thoughts.

But now here she was, standing on a platform as Admiral Paris got ready to put the Vice Admiral insignia on her uniform. For the last couple days she'd been asking herself how'd she gotten to this point. She'd even voiced her thoughts to the Doctor at one point when he'd been giving her a physical. She could still hear his words echoing in her head...

'_You didn't give up' _

He would probably never know how many times she almost did give up. But yet here she was, looking out into the vast sea of people. There were reporters, Starfleet officers she'd known over the years, other admirals and ambassadors...but the people she trained her eyes on, the people she never stopped watching, were the ones right in front. The majority of her Voyager crew were standing there grinning up at her with pride and admiration, with them her mother and sister stood among her former senior staff.

In that moment, as she locked eyes with each and every one, she held her head up high with pride shinning in her eyes. Pride for her crew. A crew who had fought along side her and even now refused to leave her side. This promotion was for them, not for her. She smiled proudly at them as the new insignia was pinned to her collar, so everyone would know how honored and lucky she was to have such a crew like Voyager.


	20. Hate To Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek Voyager or any of the songs or lyrics that are showing up in these drabbles.

A/N: This was actually one of the first drabbles I wrote for the Drabble Challenge. Set from Owen Paris' POV.

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><p><em><strong>And I know I leave you on your own<strong>_

_**And I need you to be strong when I'm walking away**_

_**And I hate to say goodbye it gets harder every time**_

_**What I feel you feel inside**_

_**When the day turns into night**_

_- 'When The Day Turns Into Night' by Busted_

Owen Paris looked out into space from the helm of the transport shuttle. Earth, with it's blues and greens seemed to mock him, even demand that he turn around and return home. He couldn't though. He had a mission that needed his time, his focus, and was apparently intent on tearing him away from his family.

After all these years of being a Starfleet officer leaving still never seemed to get easier. If anything it got harder because he knew he was leaving behind his family as they continued to grow and endure without him.

And Tom...

While he was away Tom was getting older, stronger, more mature...well maybe not mature. One thing his fifteen year old son wasn't known for was maturity. He was certainly stronger though.

Owen remembered a time, years ago, when his son would throw a fit if he had to leave on a mission. Now at least Tom wouldn't start crying, something that would always slowly rip out his heart piece by piece as he was forced to walk away.

"Admiral?"

His newest recruit and protégé broke him away from the bittersweet thoughts plaguing his already over stressed mind. "Hm?" He grunted, making a show of adjusting some of the controls.

"We're ready to dock with the ship, sir."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He asked rhetorically, taking one last glance down at the planet below. "Take us in, Janeway."

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading! More will be posted soon.


	21. Kiss Me

Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own it...

A/N: Another J/C, because these drabbles always seem to gravitate back to them eventually.

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><p><strong>Kiss me beneath the milky twilight<strong>

**Lead me out on the moonlit floor**

**Lift your open hand, strike up the band**

**And make the fireflies dance, silver moon sparkling**

**So kiss me**

_- 'Kiss Me' by Sixpence None The Richer/New Found Glory_

The sun had disappeared nearly an hour ago, but the scattered outdoor lamps and moonlight gave off just enough light for the small crowd that was still milling around to see by. The Indiana crickets chirped, the fireflies flew overhead, and the music had long ago turned into a soft beat.

Janeway looked out over the scenery, smiling softly at the few members of the Voyager crew and their families that hadn't left the reunion yet. Harry and Icheb seemed intent on a game of Kal-toh, in fact she wasn't sure if they'd even moved in the last two hours. Tuvok, her mother, and T'Pel stood near the now empty food table. The Doctor was speaking with Sam and her husband while covertly watching Seven, who held a fast asleep Naomi. Then there was the infamous Voyager couple. Tom had his arms wrapped around B'Elanna as they sat on one of the benches, both grinning happily as they watched Owen cooing at his one year old granddaughter.

A few more of the crew and their family were scattered around outside her mother's house, but most had left just before the sun went down. There was one person she knew hadn't left yet, but she also didn't see him among the others. Apparently he knew where she was though.

"I was beginning to wonder where you disappeared to." His hand came from behind her, holding out a glass of wine which she took as he leaned back against the porch railing so he could see her face.

"I see you found me." She replied, taking a sip of the wine.

The only answer she received was a crooked smile and a glint in his eyes as the moonlight reflected off them. With her own half smile she went back to watching the Voyager family. A few minutes of silence passed before she found herself glancing over, only to find his intense gaze still watching her. Their eyes locked and in the next second he was leaning closer until slowly, almost as if time itself was winding down, she felt his lips ghost over hers.

The fireflies continued to fly overhead, the flickering lights shone around them, and the soft music filled the air. But all she and Chakotay were aware of was the feeling of destiny finally being able to pull them together while they swayed gently in Indiana moonlight.

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><p>AN: So what did you think of this one?


	22. In Another World

Disclaimer: I realize you all know this already, but they still make me say it...I don't own anything!

A/N: Yep, another random character POV. This time set during 'Workforce'.

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><p><strong>It's written all over your face<strong>

**Such a painful thing to waste**

**Tell me now where do we go... Now the future's not so clear**

**I can't believe we've ended here**

**Where's the world that doesn't care**

**Maybe I could meet you there**

_- 'Meet You There' by Busted_

Jaffen stared after her. The woman he thought he'd known, but now realized he didn't even really know her name. As she turned to look at him one last time he smiled sadly, but nodded his understanding when he saw the brief flash of regret pass her face that was quickly covered by the solid determination that told him she wasn't going to changer her mind about staying behind. This wasn't her home, maybe no where was her home for all he knew, and she couldn't stay here. She also couldn't ask him to come with her either.

It had all happened so quickly. One day he was happy, healthy, and in love and then the next his world came crashing down as everything unraveled. The plans he'd made for their future, of marriage and children and a long life together, all seemed to crack one at a time. And now, as she beamed back to her ship, she took the last of those plans with her.

But even as it all faded away, the last few weeks seeming to mock him in the process, he couldn't help but hope that maybe they'd meet again. Only next time she'd be able to introduce herself with her real name. Maybe they'd even be free to laugh and talk without carrying about responsibilities or commitments to a crew. It would just be them. Maybe one day they'd reach that place...but it wouldn't be today.

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading! More is on it's way.


	23. When You Cried

Disclaimer: We all know this, but I still have to remind everyone...I don't own it!

A/N: Set post-Engame and from Tom's POV. Definitely P/T.

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><p><strong>When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears<strong>

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your tears**

**And I held your hand through all of these years**

**You still have all of me**

_- 'My Immortal' by Evanescence_

Tom smiled proudly at his daughter, his little girl, who looked so much like her mother. He laughed silently to himself at that thought. She wasn't his 'little girl' anymore. She was all grown up now, but as he watched her standing up there at the make-shift alter he didn't see a grown woman.

He saw a small newborn wrapped in her mother's arms. He saw glittering eyes smiling up at him as she threw her little arms around his legs. He saw her face crumpled in pain as tears slid down her cheeks after falling out of a tree, and he saw himself wiping away those tears. He saw her pacing and ranting after her first crush broke her heart. He remembered how'd he'd sat and listened until finally pulling her into a tight hug as she cried into his shoulder.

He'd always been there for her and had never been more then a step away in case she fell. And he knew, even as his little girl exchanged vows with her fiancé, that he always would be. Nothing could make him let go of her for good. She was just too much a part of who he was.

"Do you Miral Paris take Lukas Kim as your husband?"

As his little girl said 'I do' he felt B'Elanna clutching his hand in a grip that could very well break his fingers. He looked over at her and when he saw the lone tear slowly falling down her cheek he leaned over to kiss her temple tenderly, his free hand coming up to wipe away the tear. And as they're eyes met the silent promise was once again shared between them….

They would always be there to wipe away each others tears.


	24. Loved and Lost

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own anything...

A/N: Sorry about the delay in posting these. I promise to try and get them up faster. For now, this is set after 'Resolutions'. As always, thank you all so much for reading!

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><p><strong>Have you ever loved and lost somebody<strong>

**Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry**

**Can't you see that's the way I feel**

**About you and me baby**

_- 'Have You Ever' by S Club 7_

Captain Janeway...no, it was _Kathryn_ Janeway, because the Captain wouldn't be sitting in her quarters with her face buried in her hands as she second guessed herself about recent decisions. Recent _personal _decisions. Even though she knew the distance was necessary, it didn't stop the ache that filled her chest.

She hoped he understood. She needed him to understand because, just like she'd told him once, his support was essential to keeping the crew together. The crew had to see their command team working smoothly. An intimate relationship with her First Officer would only complicate that working relationship and therefore disrupt the flow of the command structure.

It was for the best.

That's what she kept telling herself. Because it was true. She had to maintain the professional boundaries, even if those lines were thin and barely walkable. Besides, she'd walked this tightrope before. She'd had her love affair with a fellow shipmate and had also experienced the pain of losing him.

But the ache that it left in her heart wasn't even as bad as what her decisions back on New Earth had caused. That's why she almost regretted her choice to keep that last meager distance between them. But then she would remember the pain of loss, the pressure of command, and the responsibility that came attached to her uniform.

The structure of command had to be maintained. No matter how much it hurt them both, it was better for everyone involved in the end. She just hoped he knew how much it hurt her to turn away and how she wished she could make him happy.

But the crew came first. Always.

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><p>AN: Sad, I know. But happier ones will be coming.


	25. Wanna Know

Disclaimer: Guess what? That's right! I don't own Star Trek or the song!

A/N: Set during 'Virtuoso' from the Doctor's POV.

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><p><strong>Wanna know who you are<strong>

**Wanna know where to start**

**I wanna know what this means**

**Wanna know how you feel**

**Wanna know what is real**

**I wanna know everything**

_- 'Fall To Pieces' by Avril Lavigne_

* * *

><p>"<em>To what decimal point can you calculate pie?"<em>

_"What is your favorite quadratic equation?"_

_"What is the origin of word 'song' in your culture?"_

_"Will you join me for dinner tomorrow evening?"_

Message after message filtered through the sickbay computer console. Two days ago he wouldn't have thought the insulting race of Qomars would be sending him 'fan mail', but yet here they were. Not that he was surprised. The Qomars obviously had a sophisticated taste in music, much more so than the unappreciative crew of Voyager who wouldn't know Luciano Pavarotti if he was standing two feet in front of them.

And these enlightened Qomars were genuinely interested in him. The hundreds upon hundreds of letters he'd received in the last twenty-four hours, each praising his vocal abilities and requesting to get to know him much more personally, spoke volumes of the admiration they obviously held him in.

And who could blame them? He was a skilled musician, well practiced in the fine art of singing. So who wouldn't want to know what made him 'tick'? It was only natural they'd be enthralled by him. Unlike his shipmates, who obviously didn't see him as anything more than 'The Doctor'.

Or at least that's what he'd thought…


	26. On the Other Side

Disclaimer: I own nothing even closely resembling Voyager or this song.

A/N: Set around Scorpion part 2 along with a subtle reference to another episode. Chakotay POV with a slant towards J/C.

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><p><strong>And the fire fades away, most of everyday<strong>

**Is full of tired excuses, but it's too hard to say**

**I wish were it simple, but we give up easily**

**We're close enough to see that you're on the other side of the world to me**

_- 'The Other Side Of The World' by KT Tunstall_

He wasn't sure which one of them turned away first. They'd been arguing, something that had been happening more often lately, and just as the tension in the air reached the critical overload level they both turned and walked a few steps in the opposite direction.

They'd put distance between themselves before things got out of control, but it in reality there had already been a gap between them. It was like a ditch that had settled between them, one that had slowly been getting bigger, and now they might as well be on other sides of the galaxy even when they were standing just a few feet away from each other.

He'd seen the ditch growing too, but hadn't done anything about it. Instead he'd tried to ignore it and move on. That obviously hadn't worked, let alone actually helped their situation. If anything it had made it worse considering the collision they'd had earlier...and it certainly wasn't the type of 'collision' he'd dreamed about for the last few years.

He wasn't even sure why they, why _he_, had allowed their friendship to fade, but he wasn't going to let what was left disappear into the shadows of the Delta Quadrant. He had played his part in their current situation and he would just have to help put it back together now.

Which was why he found himself outside her quarters with a bottle of Antarian cider. When he rang her door chime she answered, though not nearly as quickly as she used to. When she allowed him inside and got two glasses while he replicated them something to eat, he knew this would be the first step in building a bridge over that ditch that separated them. And this time, the bridge would be indestructible. He'd make sure of it.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for reading! What did you think?


	27. Miss You So

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Voyager or 'Letters To You'.

A/N: Set during 'Fair Haven' and from Michael's POV.

* * *

><p><strong>Can't you see that I wanna be there with open arms<strong>

**It's empty tonight and I'm all alone get me through this one**

**Do you notice I'm gone, where do you run to so far away**

**I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so**

_- 'Letters To You' by Finch_

Michael downed another scotch from his little corner of misery alley, or more commonly known as the lopsided table just past the bar. He had every right to be there too. Yeah sure, maybe someone else was working his bar for the evening, and maybe he was buried under his own pile of sorrow so far that he wasn't paying attention to the patrons, but he had the right to a bit of self pity.

His Katie was gone. She'd walked into his life, swept him up into a romance just like in one of those novels she liked so much, and then left him to mull in his own pot of grief. He just felt so alone, as if he had no purpose anymore.

Where had Katie even gotten off to? Another man? Trouble back home on her families farm? Didn't she know that he'd drop everything to help her with whatever the problem was? He _wanted_ to be there for her. She wasn't here though. She'd disappeared on him as if nothing in last few days had ever happened.

Did she even care? Did she miss him as much as he was missing her? His chest _ached_ because of the hole she'd left there. And no matter how much he tried to fill it with scotch and brandy, it just wouldn't heal itself. He needed his Katie O'Clare.


	28. Who Knew

Disclaimer: Guess what? That's right! I don't own it!

A/N: This time a Libby POV.

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><p><strong>And that last kiss I'll cherish<strong>

**Until we meet again**

**And time makes it harder... **

**I wish I could remember**

**But I keep your memory**

**You visit me in my sleep**

**My darling, who knew?**

_- 'Who Knew' by P!nk_

She never would have thought something like this would happen. Of all the things she'd been worried about before he left...Harry disappearing without a trace just wasn't on the list. Getting shot at by Maquis? Sure. Getting caught in a warp core breach? It's happened before. Mysteriously disappearing in deep space without so much as a fragment of the ship's hull plating left behind? Not something she'd considered.

If she'd only known she never would have let him go. She would have held him tight or tied him down if need be, but there was no way she would ever have let him leave her.

The last kiss they'd shared just didn't seem enough now. He was gone. Her Harry was gone, probably dead, and she just didn't know if she'd ever be able to accept that fact.

It was a common occurrence for her to wake up in the middle of the night with the image of their last meeting still lingering in her mind. She'd look at the other side of the bed, the empty space that reminded her of the missing piece in her heart, and the truth would come crashing down on her. It never got easier.

Now the only thing she had left of him was the memories of their time together. The statistics said those would be all she'd ever have, that Voyager probably wouldn't just fly into spacedock one day as if all was right with the universe, but yet she held out hope. She had to, if only to make herself feel better about not chaining him to the nearest immovable object the moment he uttered the word 'Voyager'.


	29. In Your Name

Disclaimer: Still don't own it...

A/N: This drabble is set pre-Voyager. Thanks everyone for reading! There's still plenty more to come!

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><p><strong>I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing<strong>

**With a broken heart, that's still beating**

**In the pain, is there healing... **

**In your name, I find meaning**

**So I'm holding, I'm holding on**

**I'm holding on, I'm barely holding on to you**

_- 'Broken' by Lifehouse_

* * *

><p><em>It was hard to breath. Her chest felt as if a cadet had parked a hovercraft on top of her. Her whole body turned cold, her hands trembled, her legs shook until her knees gave out from under her, and her vision blurred as something sharp stung the corner of her eyes. She couldn't wrap her mind around her surroundings. The only thing she saw was the shuttle...the ice...the smoke...the shouts in her ears that were fading into the distance. Her heart pounded against her ribcage, but she wasn't sure how. It shouldn't be beating, it shouldn't...<em>

Kathryn's eyes popped open, her breath hitching in her throat for a second as the memories overtook her senses. All because of him. Her father was dead, about to be shot into space in the traditional sending off ceremony. He loved space, now he would be buried there. It was fitting.

She made a show of watching the proceedings, but all she saw was the makeshift casket. She barely paid attention to the officers paying respects to the admiral or her family each taking turns to lay a hand on the tomb, all she focused on was her father. And the fact that he wouldn't be there for her anymore.

She knew he'd want her to be strong, for her mother and sister, so she would be. She had to, because that's the only way she could make him proud now. He was the great Admiral Janeway. She 'had' to give his name the honor it deserved.

She heard the mutters around her as she stepped up to the casket. Broken comments about PTSD, strong just like her father, healing...but she didn't care. She was barely standing, the memories of the accident rushing through her mind like an invader intent on breaking her. It was all she could do just to remember her own name.

It was Kathryn Janeway. She was a Janeway. She had to be strong.


	30. Want Me To Be

Disclaimer: Still don't own it...

A/N: This time a very short Tom POV. And since I've been behind in updating I'm going to post three this time.

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><p><strong>Tired of being what you want me to be<strong>

**Feeling so faithless**

**Lost under the surface**

**Don't know what you're expecting of me**

**Put under the pressure**

**Of walking in your shoes**

_**- 'Numb' by Linkin Park**_

He wasn't his father. That fact had to be obvious by now to just about anyone who knew him, but yet the admiral _still_ pushed him to be someone he wasn't. Tom had tried, he really did, but it didn't take long for him to realize that Tom Paris wasn't destined to be the perfect Starfleet officer.

He couldn't live up to his father's expectations, so he just stopped trying. Now the problem was finding who he was. He'd never be himself until he escaped his father's shadow. Unfortunately, the admiral's shadow was pretty big. If he wasn't careful, he'd be lost.


	31. Familiar

Disclaimer: Guess what? That's right! I don't own Star Trek: Voyager, let alone the song.

A/N: Set after 'Night' and from Janeway's POV.

* * *

><p><strong>Well in this life you must find something truly for<strong>

**Coz when the darkness comes a'calling**

**You'll go back to where you were before**

**Coz this life is as fragile as a dream**

**And nothings ever really as it seems**

**_- 'As It Seems' by Lily Kershaw_**

The soft swish of the doors alerted her to a visitor first. Another midnight roamer like herself who had wondered into the dark and deserted messhall. She didn't look up from the Engineering report, didn't even acknowledge the new presence invading her solitude. They'd probably just move on when they saw her sitting here anyways.

However, just as she was getting back into the report a pair of uniform clad legs entered her vision. She knew who it was immediately. There was only one person who stood that straight with such perfect stance. And only one person who would silently stand in front of her when she obviously wanted to be alone.

"Tuvok..." She drawled out, casually tapping the PADD to move onto the next page.

"Captain." She'd expected the short reply. The familiarity of it almost brought a faint smile to her face. Almost. "May I join you?"

She was tempted to say no, but she knew Tuvok. He'd find a reason to stick around and any attempt to dissuade him would only be more of an indication that something was wrong. But there was nothing wrong. She just wanted to be alone, in the silence of darkness, so she could think over the last few days.

"Be my guest." She answered calmly. When he pulled out a chair and gracefully sat down she finally looked up. She really shouldn't have been surprised by the knowing way he was studying her. It was Tuvok, he always knew. She could tell the moment their eyes met that he knew exactly what'd she'd been thinking about before he came in. They'd been in this situation before. "Trouble sleeping?" She asked, trying to evade his securitization.

His only response was the usual tilt of his head. Those knowing eyes never averting from their target. Of all the people to find her in the messhall, why'd it have to be him? The person on board who knew more about her past than anyone. The person who could tell that she'd been slipping back into the darkness just like all those years ago with her first command mission.

All the guilt, all the decisions, all the remembered pain of loss...it had consumed her without anything to distract her. She had embraced the darkness, but yearned for the stars to return. And now they had, but somehow there was still a tint of that depression left to linger.

Or there had been.

Somehow, under the familiarity of her old friend's gaze and the trust he brought into her presence, the past was fading away again. Finally, the stars were getting brighter. Maybe it was imaged or maybe Voyager was just entering a region of space more densely populated with stars, but either way things seemed brighter. More than that though, things seemed more familiar. And the security of familiarity managed to patch up the scratch left from the void.


	32. Sweet Lies

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Star Trek: Voyager or any of the lyrics.

A/N: Random character time again! Set during 'Shattered'. Thanks to everyone for reviewing and for taking the time to read!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Turning circles in time again<strong>_

_**Cut like a knife**_

_**If you love me got to know for sure**_

_**Coz it takes something more this time**_

_**Than sweet, sweet lies**_

_**- 'This Years Love' by David Gray**_

She thought she could outwit him? Ha! That was a mistake of horrendous proportions. She may have spread her lies that first time so that he wasn't prepared for her atrocities, but this time he saw her coming.

He knew all about her lies and tricks. He wouldn't fall for them again. But what was this? She wanted to help him? Warn him of danger from these new aliens? It was preposterous! But what if she was telling the truth? He had to be sure. He needed proof.

And maybe, if she was being truthful, it would mean she'd finally regained her senses and come around to his side. Maybe his Queen Arachnia could finally take her place as his bride! But first he must have the proof.


	33. Euphoria

Disclaimer: We all know this by now, but they still make me remind you. I don't own anything!

A/N: Only one chapter for today, but it's basically three separate drabbles in one. My muse really liked these lyrics, so I wound up writing three drabbles for the same set of lyrics. There's Janeway POV, J/C (Set during 'Resolutions'), and finally P/T (set during 'Blood Fever'). Also the song, 'Euphoria' by Loreen, was the winner of Eurovision this year which is why it was chosen as that day's lyrics.

* * *

><p><strong>Why, why can't this moment last forevermore?<strong>

**Tonight, tonight eternity's an open door…**

**No, don't ever stop doing the things you do.**

**Don't go, in every breath I take I'm breathing you…**

**_- 'Euphoria' by Loreen_**

The warmth under her hands sent a pleasant sensation up her arms and down her spine. The alluring aroma filled her senses as she inhaled deeply. Her eyes drifted closed in bliss as if intoxicated by the moment.

She knew it would be over soon. The warmth would soon cool, the moment of anticipation dull as it faded away, but for now she could savor every aspect of this sensual treat.

However, she silently wished it could last forever, that the heat would linger under her fingertips and warm her from the inside out. But that wasn't possible. She'd soon have to get back to work, back to the command position she held, and back to the real world. For now, however, this moment was all hers.

Janeway took another deep breath and let the scent send her into a comfortable trance. She brought the dark liquid to her lips and let the flavor dance across her taste buds. In that moment there was one thing she knew for sure….

There was nothing like a good cup of coffee.

* * *

><p>He took comfort and strength from the feel of her hand entwined with his. Her hand, which was so much smaller and smoother yet held so much power and intensity, was nestled securely in his. Her deep blue eyes were locked with his and in that moment they each allowed their innermost feelings to escape through those portals. It was probably the only way they'd be able to communicate their feelings. At least for now.<p>

He felt himself falling under her spell, their natural chemistry vibrating between, and the world around them melting away for that brief moment. It was pure serenity. It was perfect. He wanted to stay in this very moment in time and never let her go. For now, it was as if the future was an open book and they had all the time they needed to fill in the pages.

He wanted to hold onto this feeling forever and he was sure that he would, in his dreams and in his heart if not in reality. He would never ask her to stop being the Captain or to stop trying to get them off this planet. It was just who she was and that determination was one of the hundreds of reasons he loved her.

But for this instance he would thrive on their connection, both the physical and the invisible, and keep it engraved in his memory for the rest of his life.

* * *

><p>He could feel her scorching breath against his cheek, her heaving chest pressed against his, and her firm hands clutching his in an unrelenting grip. Each heavy breath she took sent another pulse of desire through his body.<p>

He was in hell.

He wanted her. Badly. But this wasn't B'Elanna. She was sick and she needed help. Each rise and fall of her chest along with those scorching eyes was pushing him to his limits though. He wanted to touch her, to feel her lips on his, but most of all he wanted to comfort her and protect her. Even if he had to protect her from herself.

What he wouldn't give for this moment to last a lifetime though. Even though she was testing his control he wanted to live in this moment. The way her eyes held a longing he'd only seen in his dreams and the way their mutual desires made the air around them spark with an intensity he'd never experienced before. It was overwhelming.

But it wasn't real.

B'Elanna was sick. He had to keep reminding himself of that. He had to get her help...

But he was pretty sure this moment would haunt his dreams for all eternity.


	34. Long Way From Home

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Star Trek: Voyager...

A/N: B'Elanna POV this time.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm a long way from home<strong>

**And so all alone**

**Homesick like I never thought I'd be... **

**I'm a long way from home**

**And everything is wrong**

**Someone please watch over me**

_**- 'I'm A Long Way From Home' by Shooter Jennings**_

Everything just felt...wrong. Chakotay kept telling her to give it time, that she'd get used to it. He might be right, it _had_ only been a few days since Captain Janeway blew up the array, but somehow she just didn't see herself fitting in around here. Ever.

Rules, procedures, chain of command...they were things she'd left behind at the Academy and never planned on facing again. Yet here she was on a Starfleet ship intermingled with a Starfleet crew. The closest she could get to feeling comfortable with was the warp core! Even this uniform felt misplaced and constricting.

She never thought she'd miss home, she'd always thought she would be just fine wondering around with the Maquis, but now she actually missed the familiar surroundings. The Delta Quadrant, this ship...she just didn't belong here. But what could she do? The Maquis were integrating with the Starfleet, even Chakotay was busy following around Janeway. At this rate the only socialization she was going to have was with the warp core.

"Hey, Maquis..." She looked up from her tray at the nickname and a faint smirk crossed her face as she saw Harry Kim approaching her table. ..."Mind if I join you?"

She watched for a second as he stood next to the empty chair. "Sure. Knock yourself out, Starfleet." She finally answered after a moment of hesitation.

"Thanks." He said and she watched as he took a seat with his tray before making a face at the mystery meal on plate. "What is this stuff?"

Just as she was about to make a comment a chair was dragged over to her table. She looked up and barely held back a scowl at the flyboy invading her personal space.

"There you are, Harry." Tom Paris exclaimed, dropping his tray onto the table and taking a seat. "Enjoying Neelix's 'Surprise on a Plate'?" He added with a overly pompous grin in her direction.

She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her own plate. When the flyboy took it in stride and addressed Harry instead she took the opportunity to glance around.

It was then she noticed Captain Janeway sitting at a corner table. Janeway was subtly watching them...or maybe just her...with a faint, obviously pleased, smile as she drank her coffee. However, when the Captain noticed B'Elanna watching her in return she gave a half-nod in acknowledgement and then went back to glancing around the rest of the room...as if she were watching over them all.

As Tom and Harry's laughter brought her focus back she couldn't help but to give a small, half-smile at their joke. And when Chakotay got his plate and headed towards the Captain's table, giving her an amused smile as he walked by, B'Elanna thought that maybe…one day….she wouldn't feel quite so alone around here.

* * *

><p>AN: So, what did you think?


	35. To Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it...

A/N: Ok, this one is set during 'Coda' and from Chakotay's POV.

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><p><strong>There must be so many ways to say goodbye<strong>

**But I can't seem to think of one this time**

**So many ways to say goodbye**

**Even if she isn't mine**

**I'm still losing my mind**

_**- 'So Many Ways' by New Found Glory**_

The crew was gathered, the silence as painful as the words that B'Elanna spoke, and even the stars seemed a little less bright as if they too mourned the loss of one of their own. The food Neelix prepared was still mostly untouched as if the thought of eating made them sicker than raw leola root. Chakotay's stomach was knotted even without the thought of food though, as he was sure most of their crew's were.

_Their_ crew. He still thought of them as 'their', as _her_ crew, even though the command codes had been officially passed to him hours before. He couldn't help but to feel as if she were still with them though, still silently standing amongst them while watching over her ship.

Maybe he just didn't want to say good-bye, so he was making himself believe that she was still alive. That the coffin was empty. Maybe it was a way to protect his sanity and his heart.

Kathryn Janeway couldn't be dead.

He knew, in the rational part of his mind, that she was gone. However, the part that grieved so painfully for his friend refused to accept the facts. He just wouldn't say farewell to her. Not now and very possibly not in the future.

He missed her to the point that his chest ached.

But he had to go on, to lead her people, because that's what she would expect. Kathryn Janeway would accept nothing less from him.

As B'Elanna ended her passionate speech and he offered the floor to someone else, he took note of how none had yet to actually say good-bye. They spoke of good times with their Captain, of how hard it would be without her and how much she'd be missed, and how much they owed her...

But no one dared to say the words that everyone knew had to come eventually.

No one could bring themselves to say good-bye.

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading!


	36. This I Swear

Disclaimer: This is the part where I inform everyone of my lack of owning things, right? Consider yourselves informed.

A/N: I know, it's been forever since I updated this. I have a lot of drabbles to add too. Here's one for now though. I don't want to say much about this one because I don't want to spoil the fun, so I'll just let you read...

* * *

><p><strong>If you promise that you love me<strong>

**If you promise that you care**

**I will be here for you always**

**And forever this I swear**

_**- 'Cradle' by Atomic Kitten**_

Chakotay cleared his throat, shifting his weight from foot to foot as his stomach started churning again. No matter what he did, he couldn't shake the nervousness that'd been churning in his gut for more than twenty-four hours now. "I know I haven't always been the best of friends. I know there were times when we had a falling out..."

"Doesn't everyone." B'Elanna scoffed.

Chakotay cleared his throat again and tugged at his ear, a small smile finally appearing even through his nerves. "But I've always cared. And in the end, I'll always be there for you. Thinking of a life without you is like thinking of a day without air. It's almost hard to comprehend, and the reality of it is literally suffocating. I promise you that I will _always_ be there for you though. If you let me. Because, over the last few years, I've learned just how precious a soul binding love really is."

"And..." B'Elanna prompted, arms crossed and a playful smirk covering her face. "Anything else?"

Chakotay frowned for a moment, trying to think of what else to say, and scoffed mentally at the thought. There was so much more to say. So much that had gone unsaid over the last seven years. He wasn't even sure half of it _could_ be put into words. Judging by B'Elanna's ever growing impatience there was something he was missing though, something he'd left out...

Then it dawned on him.

The one thing he had yet to ever say. "I love you."

B'Elanna nodded slowly, an approving look finally flashing in her eyes. "Not bad, Chakotay. Not bad at all."

"That's it? That's all I get?" Chakotay grinned and hoped it covered his anxious feelings.

"Well you're not exactly a poet..." B'Elanna began, smirking amusedly as her eyes flickered to something over his shoulder. "But I think Kathryn will approve anyways."

Chakotay's grin faltered and the worried look he'd been holding at bay finally surfaced. "Are you sure? This is important, B'Elanna. It has to be perfect."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes and pushed off the desk she'd been leaning against. She'd never seen her friend this nervous...and it was only a rehearsal for the real thing. "You'll be fine. She'll love it. And if you don't believe me..." She trailed off and let her gaze land on the person who'd snuck in just in time to hear his practice speech. "Ask her yourself."

Chakotay frowned in confusion and watched as she walked past him and out his office door. He was about to call after her to ask what she meant, but as he was about to turn he finally felt it. The presence of someone else in the room. A presence he recognized easily.

Oh no...

He felt his heart begin to race, his back straightening, as he slowly turned around. Sure enough there she was. Kathryn Janeway. The one he'd be agonizing over for days now.

A moment of silence passed as they stared back at each other. Fortunately, Kathryn at least still had a voice. "That was beautiful." He saw something flicker in her eyes, but it was gone a second later. "Have you been working on it long?"

Chakotay smiled softly, his eyes locked on hers, and he answered without hesitation. "Only about six years or so."

"Oh, is that all?"

Chakotay nodded, his smile twitching in amusement as he watched her expression start to soften. "Was it enough?"

Slowly, in what felt like another year to Chakotay, she nodded and gave him the answer that would live in his memory for the rest of his life. "It was enough."

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><p>AN: More to come soon! What did you think?


	37. Thanks For Being A Friend

Disclaimer: You know this, I know this, and everyone else knows it...I don't own Star Trek! Or the lyrics for that matter.

A/N: A nice little Tom and Harry friendship piece. Post-Endgame

* * *

><p><strong>And when we both get older<strong>

**With walking canes and hair of gray**

**Have no fear, even though it's hard to hear**

**I will stand real close and say,**

**Thank you for being a friend**

_**- 'Thank You For Being A Friend' by Andrew Gold**_

"Thanks, Harry."

Harry cast a confused glance to his left. "What?"

Tom rolled his eyes and shifted towards the side, grimacing a bit when his back creaked. "I said, thanks Harry!"

"Oh." Harry went back to staring over the porch railing as he had been before Tom interrupted. A few seconds ticked by before Tom's words suck in. "For what?"

"You know..."Tom waved a had in a small flourish of movement. "For always being there. Having my back. Saving me from B'Elanna's wrath. You know, just...being a friend."

Harry shrugged, a teasing smile starting to tug at his lips. "Least I could do. Considering the number of times my grandkids have tied you to that chair."

"Tied 'us' to chairs." Tom reminded him, glancing pointedly to Harry's loosely bound hands. "I'm not the only one in this predicament."

A few silent seconds passed before Harry asked the question that was sure to be on Tom's mind too. "How long do you think it'll be before they remember we're here?"

Tom shrugged as they continued to watch the three children, who'd long ago gotten bored of playing 'pirates' and moved on to playing fetch with their golden retriever. "Hopefully before B'Elanna and Libby get back."

"Yeah. That'd be nice."

"My back wouldn't complain."

"My ears wouldn't complain. It's hard to hear with all these feathers."

Tom studied the bright pink and neon yellow feathered scarf draped around Harry's neck, obviously tickling his ears and muffling sound. "I don't know. They kinda suite you."

"Thanks, Tom."

"No problem."


	38. Can't You See

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A/N: I'm not really sure how to describe this one. All I can say is that it's the Delta Flyer's POV...

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><p><strong>If you could only read my mind<strong>

**You know that things between us ain't right**

**I know your arms are open wide**

**But you're a little on the straight side **

**I can't lie**

**Your one vice is you're too nice**

**Come around now can't you see**

_**- 'I Want You Bad' by Offspring**_

It was not acceptable. His skills did not meet the requirements that were in place for the operations of the vessel. This fact could not easily be communicated however. Should the organic beings be able to understand the signals which they were presented with then perhaps they would see that the disastrous organic in question was not equipped to handle the precision that was involved in such delicate procedures.

The bulky humanoid which often cumbrously handles the controls is a willing operator however. His attempts often leads to collisions or other incidents which in turn lead to extensive periods of time under the care of knowledgeable technician assigned to correct the impending damage.

The organic with a knack for initiating malfunctions was often times remorseful afterwards as well. A trait which should eventually instruct him that his attempts at operating such a vessel were not in the best interests of any involved. The humanoid with heavy hands did not learn however. His capacity for understanding seemed to be no more than twenty-one percent of the normal human range in fact.

He was lacking therefore he should not be allowed to operate such a complex technology. The inevitable outcome would be the vessel's destruction, his destruction, or a bystanders destruction. Should he not personally bring such outcomes, then a similar situation would be sure to follow his traversing along the path he set forth.

It would be most desirable if he and the other organics would realize this. If they could communicate with this vessel in a more sophisticated manner than they would see what was truly best for their own well being. The only way to resolve the situation was for this vessel and the malfunctioning organic to end the destructive relationship which was in place. It was a necessary means of survival and the most logical course of action.

The humanoid's enthusiasm was commendable, however that did not qualify him to operate this vessel. They did not make a satisfactory team. Therefore it was only logical to end such a liaison. The mutterings of the humanoid assigned to repair the latest blunder would seem to suggest they were in agreement.

Indeed. The human by the designation of 'Commander Chakotay' should be permanently locked out of the control mechanisms for this vessel.

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><p>AN: That's it for now. More coming up later though. Thanks for reading!


	39. To Feel Nothing

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it...

A/N: Just a short B'Elanna POV and set during 'Extreme Risk'.

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><p><em><strong>In the oceans deep<strong>_

_**In the canyon steep**_

_**Walls of granite hear us there**_

_**All my desperate calls**_

_**Echo off the walls**_

_**Back and forth then back again**_

_**- 'Let Your Heart Hold Fast' by Fort Atlantic**_

The rocky, cave filled terrain seemed lifeless. She couldn't even consider herself alive amongst the rocks and dirt. She took a moment to examine her injuries. A few scratches, bruises half-hidden under dirt and grime, raw patches of skin, but she still couldn't _feel_. She felt nothing. She was numb and empty.

And she deserved it.

As the sheer emptiness, not only the emptiness inside herself but also in the holographic surroundings, overwhelmed her senses a surge of disappear seemed to take over. She fell to her knees, hung her head, and wrapped an arm around her middle. With all her strength she reached for any semblance of feelings, for any shadow of emotion, and let it tear past her throat and fill the empty terrain. The sound of despair and gut wrenching pain bounced off the rock walls and echoed around her, reminding her of just how alone she really was.

And she still felt nothing.


	40. I'll Be Right Beside You

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Star Trek or the lyrics!

A/N: This is a bit longer than a drabble. In fact I had to edit it down for the challenge. I'm considering expanding on the idea in more detail later though. Set pre-Voyager.

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><p><em><strong>If your heart wears thin<strong>_

_**I will hold you up**_

_**And I will hide you**_

_**When it gets too much**_

_**I'll be right beside you**_

_**- 'Beside You' by Marianas Trench**_

There was a slight chill in the air as Kathryn walked through the streets of Taurus Ceti IV. She crossed her arms over her chest to ward off the wind and cast a sidelong glance at the other crewmembers milling around. It seemed many of the officers on shore leave had found their way to the same trading center.

She didn't stop to talk to any of them. She barely even spared anyone more than a glance in passing. No one seemed to mind. They all let her go without a word, maybe a subtle look of curiosity as if analyzing her condition, but nothing more. It'd been the same way for the last week. Ever since she'd been released from sickbay it was as if half the crew were watching silently for a break down or some sign that she wasn't as _fine_ as she told everyone, meanwhile the other half apparently thought she was now as fragile as glass.

She wasn't sure which she found more insulting.

A few days in a Cardassian prison didn't mean she'd break down any minute. It didn't mean she was any less the officer, any less strong, than before. She was still Kathryn Janeway and she was _fine_. She went on with her duty as if it never happened. Maybe she was a bit more stoic, but nothing more.

Because she was _fine_.

She had to be. Even when the nightmares kept her awake at night, even when the burden of hiding invisible scars weighed heavily against her, she still remained strong and independant. She simply refused to do so much as blink the wrong way in case someone thought it was some sort of 'symptom'. Starfleet was already sending her back to Earth for a month, she wasn't about to give them any reason to make her land bound for longer than that.

"Well, are you going to stare at them all day or buy something?"

Kathryn stiffened at the rough, guttural voice that broke her from her thoughts. She glanced up with an arched eyebrow upon realizing she'd apparently stopped in front of some sort of animal pound. Directly in front of her was a pin full of dogs and puppies, terran by the looks of them. Looking them over she noted how they could use a bath and probably a few other necessities.

They seemed more or less healthy though. She stepped closer and cocked her head to the side as she watched them, a small smile beginning to tug at her lips. A few ran to the other side of the pin upon her approach, many didn't pay her any attention, and a couple scampered up to her.

There was one that caught her attention more than the others though. A puppy, probably just a couple months old, with beautiful reddish fur and adorable floppy ears. She was smaller than the rest, most likely the runt of the litter, but she sat right up front and cocked her little head in curiosity before scampering around the pin and barking with a soft, but strong bark. There was really only one way to describe the pup...Spunky.

The little feisty puppy was full of spirit and spunk that belied her size and surroundings. In a way, Kathryn could sympathize with it. Trapped, caged, and underestimated.

But still very much alive.

She frowned for a moment as she contemplated whether or not it was a good idea to bring a puppy aboard a starship. Probably not. Admiral Paris would no doubt have a few 'choice words' on the subject. On the other hand, she was technically on leave for the next month... "I'll take that one."

The pound owner scoffed and shot her a look as if she were certifiably insane. "It's the runt. There's better options you know."

Kathryn narrowed her eyes and, with one hand propped on her hip, waved the other at the dog in question. "Do you want to make a sell or not?"

The man grunted and lowered the security force field around the pin. By the time he deposited the small puppy into her arms she'd already thought of a name. Kathryn smiled the first real smile she'd displayed in over a week and ran her hand over the pup's soft fur, her shoulders relaxing in the process. "Hello, Mollie."

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><p>AN: So what did you think? As always, thanks for reading!


	41. Flying 101

Disclaimer: How many times have I said this now? I don't own Star Trek: Voyager!

A/N: This one wasn't written for the Drabble Challenge. Instead it was inspired by a reviewer. Hope you like it!

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><p>The stars twinkled all around the shuttle, the two small uninhabitable moons almost looked like they were smiling at her as the shuttle flew around them. And what amazing flying it was! First under, then over, sideways, and upside down...<p>

It's was so much fun!

Naomi watched, in outright wonder, as Lieutenant Paris' hands tinkered with the Flyer's controls. He barely seemed to be so much as thinking about his movements! He just...did it. Almost like his hands weren't attached to the rest of him, but yet his relaxed expression was still focused on the movements like he was in complete control of it all.

As Naomi continued to glance back and forth between his unfaltering hands and the beautiful view outside the shuttle Tom cast her an amused half-smirk over his shoulder. "Ready to take the wheel?" He asked, smiling as he imagined her excited expression even as he caught her nodding vigorously out of the corner of his eye. "Come on then, crewman."

Naomi grinned so broadly her cheeks actually hurt. Her eyes took in the controls as she stepped forward into the cockpit to join Lieutenant Paris. Tom tapped in a view commands before sliding out of his chair and helping her into it. She shifted a bit, trying to get comfortable in the big bulky chair.

"Ready?"

She nodded, a look of intense concentration covering her face as she studied the helm intently. "Ready."

"Aright then. Let's take the Flyer for a spin." He said, placing her hands on one of the control levers and guiding her through a complicated flight maneuver. She looked up through the viewport, her eyes wide in excitement and joy, and watched the moons disappear behind them. "Just remember..." Lieutenant Paris began a few moments later. "...Don't pull a 'Commander Chakotay'."

"A 'Commander Chakotay'?" She asked, slightly confused. Was that some sort of dangerous flying trick?

"Yes." Tom replied in the most serious expression she'd ever seen him wear. "A 'Commander Chakotay'. Or in other words, crashing the shuttle."

Naomi snickered, trying her best to act just as serious. "Of course. We don't want that."

"No. No we don't. Not unless you want to help me scrub the plasma injectors with a toothbrush." He smirked lightly. "Speaking of toothbrushes. We better start heading back before the Captain has me cleaning the hull with said toothbrush for making her Captain's Assistant late for lunch." He gave her a smile, his eyes sparkling with almost as much excitement as hers. "Want to set a course back to Voyager?"

"My pleasure!" She answered coolly, starting to set the course even as she wished they could stay out a bit longer. Maybe she could convince Tom to take her out for more flying lessons….


	42. Not Knowing

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it...

A/N: Seven POV. Set post-Endgame with a hint of D/7

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><p><strong>When your heart releases, you won't fall to pieces<strong>

**You'll let those old diseases lie**

**And your heart releases, you won't fall to pieces**

**And your breath comes crashing in like perfect porcelain**

**The slow and simple melody**

**Of tears you cannot keep from me**

**It's alright if you don't know what you need**

_**- 'Porcelain' by Marianas Trench**_

When Voyager reached Earth she did not panic. She went on as if it were another day. For her Earth was not home, the Alpha Quadrant was not even home, to her home had become Voyager. This presented a dilemma, one she knew others such as Naomi Wildman would be experiencing as well.

However there was nothing she could do now which would alter the outcome. They were on Earth, that was a fact and she must accept it. Even with this knowledge she could not completely stop the uneasy sensation that gradually took over her senses.

She behaved naturally during the Board meeting in which Captain Janeway fought her case for freedom and she reacted appreciatively, but calmly afterwards when she was released from holding. Her composure was uncompromised throughout the chaotic transferring of crew off Voyager. She remained perfectly in control through it all.

Until now.

As she sat in the silence of her temporary living area which overlooked San Francisco bay she suddenly felt alone in a way she hadn't felt since her initial severing from the Collective. Until now she had been continuously occupied with one thing or another, leaving no time for deeper contemplations as to her future. Now however she found herself sinking into the unknown.

What was she to do now? Voyager no longer needed her services, the crew would begin moving on, and there was an entire quadrant she had yet to know. Starfleet had offered her a job, but she was yet unsure whether she wanted to accept. At the moment she was unsure about anything involving her future.

As that realization sank in she felt her control slipping. It seemed as if she were loosing all control over her life, over her future, and now even over her own emotions. Her breath caught in her throat, her chest constricted, and her eyes widened a fraction upon realizing that a solitary tear was coursing down her left cheek.

"Seven..." The voice which, much to her frustration, startled her was one which she recognized easily. Normally it would not be unwelcome, however under the current circumstances it was one she wished had not echoed in the empty room. "...Ah, there you are! When you didn't answer the door I..." The visitor paused abruptly, no doubt spotting the tear glistening in the dim lightening. "Are you alright?"

"I..." She swallowed thickly as her voice wavered. "I do not know." She turned her face away as the Doctor stepped up next to her. She had no desire for him to see her in such a weak moment. In a moment of no control. At that thought another tear slid from her ocular implant.

"It'll be alright, Seven." The Doctor, her friend, whispered comfortingly. She felt his fingers lightly touch the underside of her chin and lift her face to meet his eyes. The warmth in them was strangely comforting. "It'll be alright."

For a moment, she let herself believe him.


	43. Up A Tree

Disclaimer: I promise that if I ever own Star Trek: Voyager, I'll let you know.

A/N: Another one that wasn't written for the Drabble Challenge, but it is a drabble. Extra special thanks to BonesBird for the prompts! Set post-Endgame and implied J/C.

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><p>"This isn't funny, Kathryn."<p>

"Of course not. No one is laughing, Chakotay." Kathryn winked down at the snickering six-year-old girl next to her while using her well-practiced self-control to keep her own laughter at bay. She didn't bother reigning in the amused smirk playing across her face though. It's not like he could see her in his current predicament anyways. "Are you sure you don't want some help?" She called, shielding her eyes against the sun that still had a few hours before it'd even begin to set.

"I'm sure. I just need to..."

'_Thump_'

Kathryn winced instinctively at the sound of her husband's head hitting wood that was immediately followed by muffled mumbling. She had no doubt Chakotay's muttered speech consisted of a few choice curses not suitable for the young ears of their daughter. Glancing down at the giggling girl in question she was pleased to note that Lena had plopped down on the grass and was pulling out a piece of paper from her bag to draw on.

'_Clunk_'

"Chakotay..." She called, rolling her eyes at his shear stubbornness. "Just stay where you are and I'll be right up." She glanced down at Lena once more to make sure she was occupied before moving towards the base of the tree that Chakotay was currently residing in.

"No!" He suddenly called, and there was no denying the hint of panic in his voice even through the wood planks making up the half-built tree house. "Don't come up here, Kathryn. You might fall."

Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose to ward of the oncoming headache. Chakotay had always had his over protective streak for as long as she'd known him, but it seemed to have gotten worse in the last few years and lately she was even surprised he didn't have a panic attack whenever she walked out of the house. Under the circumstances she could, admittedly, understand his caution however. "If you don't get out of there I'm going to have Tom and B'Elanna come over then." She told him in warning.

"Just give me one more minute. I just need to..."

'_Thump_.'

She heard him grunt in discomfort as he twisted his body. His lower half was still hanging out the doorway of the treehouse, but she could now see an arm as well. She watched as he twisted and turned a little at a time in an attempt to wiggle his way out of the door frame.

"Look mommy!"

Kathryn tore her eyes away and looked down at Lena who was tugging at the hem of her shirt and holding up a brightly colored picture. She smiled, once again resisting laughter, as she looked over the drawing.

"See!" Lena said excitedly and pointed to the tree that she'd drawn on a big green hill. "That's daddy in the treehouse."

"I can see that." Kathryn said, placing a comforting hand on her enlarged stomach as the infant inside began to do somersaults. "Why is there only half of him?" Kathryn asked, though she was pretty sure she already knew why the picture only showed the lower half of Chakotay.

Lena rolled her eyes in an eerily familiar fashion and sighed dramatically. "Because he's stuck in the treehouse of course!"

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading!


	44. Pain Inside

Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager!

A/N: This one is Tal Celes/Gerron set sometime after 'Pathfinder'.

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><p><em><strong>All alone I didn't like the feeling<strong>_

_**All alone I sat and cried**_

_**All alone I had to find some meaning**_

_**In the centre of the pain I felt inside**_

- _**'Sand and Water' by Beth Nielsen-Chapman**_

Her chest hurt, her lungs felt like they were being squeezed so tightly she could hardly breath, and everything else was just...numb. She hardly paid attention to the people she walked past on her way to her quarters. No one seemed to notice though. She almost let the tears fall when she was trapped in the turbolift with two laughing ensigns. For a moment she hadn't been able to understand how they could laugh, she was even a bit angry at them for it, but then she remembered that as far as they were concerned everything was perfectly fine.

It wasn't their father who had died.

When she finally made it to her quarters she shuffled over to her bed and absentmindedly sank down to the floor when she missed the edge of the mattress. As her thoughts scattered across years of memories while revolving around the letter from home she still had clutched in her hand, she noted that her roommate wasn't around. She wasn't sure if she should be grateful for that or not. On one hand she didn't want to be alone at that moment, but at the same time she didn't want anyone to see her looking so pathetic.

She wasn't sure when the tears actually started falling or how long she sat alone trying to figure it all out, but when a callused thumb hesitantly swiped over a wet trail left on her cheek she jumped in surprise and was instantly brought back to the present instead of a mess of memories and pain.

"Gerron?" She asked tearfully, her eyes widening in shock. Of all the people she expected to show up to comfort her, he was the last. No, actually Seven was the last she'd expect.

"What are you doing here?" She added, straightening and using her sleeve to wipe across her eyes.

"I saw you walk by." He shrugged, his eyes casually flickering to other parts of the room, probably since he'd never been in here before. "You looked upset."

Tal blinked a couple of times in case she was hallucinating. She barely remembered getting to her own quarters so it was possible. Maybe she'd tripped and hit her head or something. "So you followed me here?"

"No."

She raised an eyebrow in confusion and just watched him. Finally her stare must have gotten the unasked question across.

"You walked past me when you got off the turbolift. You looked distracted." He paused for minute, hesitating to continue but obviously realizing he still hadn't answered her question. "So I watched you go around the corner. Then I saw you nearly walk into your own door…..so I figured I should probably make sure you were alright."

"Oh." Tal tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thank you."

"Are you?" Gerron asked flatly.

"Am I what?"

"Okay?"

Tal almost replied with an automatic 'yes', but as she met Gerron's eyes and saw that he watched her in utmost seriousness she couldn't bring herself to lie, even if he probably wouldn't believe it anyways. "No." She finally muttered and closed her eyes against the tears that built up again.

After a couple of seconds she felt Gerron move to sit next to her with his shoulder softly grazing hers and before her uncertainty could take over she leaned her head against his shoulder and grabbed his hand as more tears leaked out.

But for this round of crying she wasn't alone at least.


	45. For Now

Disclaimer: Still don't own it...

A/N: Tom POV this time! Set Post-Endgame

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><p><em><strong>For now we're healthy, for now we're employed<strong>_

_**For now we're happy if not overjoyed**_

_**And we'll accept the things we cannot avoid**_

_**For now**_

_**- 'For Now' by Avenue Q**_

Tom thumbed through his cards while trying to ignore Harry's ever persistent humming. With an internal smirk he leaned back in his chair and waited for his three opponents to finish analyzing their own cards. Not that they'd have a chance against his full house, but they'd no doubt give it a try anyways. Especially Harry. He never did know when to quite.

"Well, tomorrow's the big day." He threw out casually, mostly to distract his opponents. Not that he'd ever stoop to cheating, of course.

"Indeed."

"Yep."

"Shut up, Paris."

Tom smirked across the table at the soon-to-be-former Voyager first officer. He was obviously nervous about that hand of his, even if he did try to hide. Tuvok on the other hand seemed calm enough, not that it was anything new. He was almost starting to regret convincing Mr. Perfect Poker Face to join them in the game. Dear Harry on the other hand seemed to be the one to watch out for. If he hadn't known him so long he might not have noticed, but knowing what he did about Harry Kim he could see the twitch of his lips announcing the impending smile and heard the almost slight elevation in his voice that he adopted when onto something big.

Perhaps more of a diversion was in order. "Anyone nervous?" He asked, once again looking through his cards casually. "About the big briefing tomorrow I mean." He added after catching a pointed glare from Chakotay.

He watched as Harry frowned and fidgeted in his seat, his eyes now staring at his cards yet not _at_ the cards. Chakotay even seemed to tense a fraction as his forehead creased. He hadn't meant to cause _that_ much distraction.

"We'll have to leave Voyager for good tomorrow." Harry muttered, and Tom could practically hear the contradicting emotions flooding his voice.

"Leaving Voyager will not mean the 'end' of Voyager, Ensign." Tuvok spoke up. It was so sudden and such a contrast to the silent and sober atmosphere that all three of them looked over at the Vulcan. "Furthermore, it would be illogical to dwell on such things that have yet to happen. Especially should it distract you from current things of importance."

"In other words..." Tom began as the game finally started up. "Live in the moment and be happy while you can."

"That is not exactly what I said, Lieutenant."

"Close enough." Chakotay spoke up before Tom could respond. With a half-smirk Voyager's first officer laid down his cards for all to see. And Tom felt his jaw pop open. "Straight flush."

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading! What did you think?


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